i n s i d e l i n g o

It's not even hectic anymore.
I seem to have forgotten what it was like before...
That's the way it goes, they say. I smile and nod when I really want to... Yeah. Whatever.

They also say I'm strong. This is funny because people are generally really weak.
We (by we, I mean humanity) tend to take every chance we get to crash and crack.
Fuck, It's easier that way!
Lets sulk in selfpity for a while and hope the world stops to see our tears and give us a great big ole' hug.
Better yet, lets keep hinting our sorrow, waiting for someone to take the empty seat next to us so we can blame our sorry existence on the demanding world today, together.
So fuckin' pathetic... Makes me sick.
Havn't we understood anything by now?
Don't we know that the world won't tell us that it's all going to be okay?

No, I'm not strong. I'm just not dumb.


In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life;
it goes on.
- Brandon Lee

Right? (;

The sun, wind and stars would all be smiling, letting me in on tiny little secrets.
And I could smile. Even in the rain. And I danced.

Not so much about the who but more about the where and when.
The who just let me take more of it in. I'll never forget it.
The way I wrote, saw, spoke and felt. It was different then...

I'm hoping it will give you the same experience. I truly do.
If only for one day.




Things change.
And sometimes you loose track. And sometimes you think you're on track when really you're so completely far off. But you just keep walking, hoping to be back dancing in the rain.
Yeah, so the story goes, right? Just having one of those nights...
Maybe because my weekend was so great and warming, it brought back that smile.
Maybe I can be lost with you?

Yeah, things change. As it brings some closer toghether it sometimes pushes others away.
I love you, I still do. Eventhough it's been ages since we last shared a smile...

Happy 21'st Acke!

What's old, new, borrowed and blue?
She said her clock is ticking. And I just looked at her.
She wasn't shining.

---

I will whisper a song in your ear
Oh the things you've been missing my dear
If you remember the tune
It's all I can do
Just remember I wrote it for you.

So Dennis and I were on that word gameshow "Ordjakten" today.
I kicked his ass, as most of you saw. Yeah! ... Eventhough I was guessing half the time...
It was really alot of fun eventhough I didn't make it all the way. That other dude beat me with only one question!
Bastard fisherman. >.<
Thought it'd be great to win some money since the lack of it has been such a struggle lately.
I hate money. I deteste it. Despise it. If I had all the money in the world I'd burn it.
Or maybe first use it to like build schools, houses, wells and grow crops all over the world...
But then I'd burn the rest.

Camping in Trosa was so damn great. We partied all Saturday and stayed 'till Sunday.
Weather was just great, nothing went wrong at all. The tent took a while putting together and people (Cat) were crabby at times, but it all worked out and a few Lemon Drops later we were down at the market buying things we'll never use again. Good times, guys. Thanks so much! Marika, we missed you though.
Next time. Oh there will be a next time. (:
Love you guys. Really. <3

I'm working on the Easy way to quit smoking now. Yeah. I read that chapter. And the chapter after that.
Yeah, I think we can do this Allen. I really think we can.
And it's going to be the best thing I've ever done. I can't wait!
Got some planning to do though. Very simple stuff, but I gotta do more than just think about doing it.
It is time! Oh, and don't worry. I'll definitely keep you posted.

Go easy on the shibby.
Shibby!

Whats is this I hear?
Me and Dennis @ Ordjakten TV4, on Monday 14.00 ?
Naah, I'm just kidding. But I'm pretty damn certain I'm not actually.
Yeah... I can't make it clearer than that or Dennis'll be crabby. ;-)
But if you need me to be any clearer, I feel really sorry for you - you sad sad person.


Cinderella again! Indeed! Different crew this time...
Marika, Acke, Cathrine and myself had a great 24 hours on the boat!
I'll fill you in on the details as soon as I get all the pics back and ready to update.
Came home though, finally. Tired and exhausted - as usual after a cruise - lit a bunch of candles, brought my cigarettes, alot of chocolate and a book and got in the bath. The best thing I've done in a really long time...

As for the easy way to quick smoking, I might've stod my buddy Allen Carr up. See, the next chapter's called "Planning" and I only know what lays before me so I havn't picked up that book in a while...
Gah!