i n s i d e l i n g o

People requesting me to type down some words about our evening spent on the boat...
What an evening it was...

I'm still tired, still not yet awake, still hungry, still cold and maybe even still drunk?
And I don't think we went over all of last nights adventures, don't think we yet decided on what the official story is, if there is one, and how we're bending the truth...
You'll have to give me a minute while I upload the pictures and see If I can make any sence of the puzzle.
Alright... I'm ready now. ...Laughing while I'm typing this I know this mostly will be a bunch of jibberish.

Sowfie and Me trying on some wicked shades in the taxfree shop.
Any questions?

No, we didn't end up buying them and Yes we did go to the alcohol right after taking this pic.

So anyway, the evening progressed, dinner was just around the corner. A bit stressed and naturally crabby for food, we started getting dressed. People tend to go over the top for the dinners, we just went under the table. At least my mom, who ended up stunbeling around a bit much after a few glasses of wine. We laughed. It was great!


Sofia and me all dolled up for dinner.

So after dinner we went to the karaoke place. Only being 10 minutes late, we never got the chance to sing.
The boat was full of great people and we were just noticing this. 
A few shots and drinks later we started interacting with random strangers.
Some 65 yrold goths, depressed 29 yrold boys, sleazy 26yrold (could they make it any clearer?) NON RAPISTS?
No, they wern't going to take advantage of us. We got it.
We said we were going to bed and got away from most of them.
So wondering around we meet the basketball guys. That gang was great!

We had a plan. I was going to steal the shopping cart and put Sofia in it, take the elevator down to the C cabins on the second floor ( I don't know WHY there?!), and push it around like crazy, giving Sofia one hell of a ride...
People cought on to our plan. Even security. That sucked. They were swarmed around the carts... So we acted natural, took the elevator down to the second, waited for a while and went back up.
Security was gone, quickly I grabbed the cart, shuved it into the elevator and our new found friends joined us to see the plan take form. 
While down on second, Sofia started hesitating. We told her how lame she would be if she didn't pull through, when has peer pressure ever been bad? All of a sudden, her sexy boots were off and she was sitting in the cart, me and tall basketball boy #1 were pushing her fast and quickly through the corridors.
If you were there you would've laughed as hard as we were... :D
Our new found friends took pics of this whole thing and promised to e-mail them to us.
Waiting for them now... It'll be hillarious!
 
So then security came down to the second floor... We ditched the cart and ran up the stairs soo fast, like we had done something really illegal and were hiding from the police! We ran like never before and eventually ended up back upstairs, meeting the rest of them up for the nights last dances.
We just didn't want to wake up this morning... No. Just didn't.

Tonight's gonna be a good night too, whatever I end up doing.
One last pic for you. Any questions?

Yes... Very very drunk. Very drunk... Very... Yeah you get it.

Cheers! (:
What a weekend...
Jill Adam

It's Thursday today.
A week from this very moment, I had just woken up in my bed, across the world, in my sunny reality.
I was all packed and ready to get on the plane and come home.
That was a lie...
I was packed, but I wasn't at all ready... To come Home? No, I was already home.

I spent most of that day crying and writing. I tend to write alot when I'm emotional.
The fear of being mediocre was taking over and I hated the thought of going back to the way things were.
Not that my life here sucked before I left, in any way! Don't get me wrong... But I was just a tad bit terrified that my other reality was going to take away everything that I had become.
I was proven very wrong very so strongly.

I've always cared, loved and appreciated my beloved friends and family...
But now I'm just struck by how beautiful these people actually are, and really just how blessed I am to be a part of their lives.
They see who I am.
Never anywhere in their dreams would they want to change me, or even do or act in a way that would have any consequences upon my wellbeing or happiness.
These, ladies and gentlemen... These people I proudly call my Friends and Family.

Unfortunately these people are spread out all around the world and I can't see or hear from all of them as often as I would like. But always, note always...
Are they in my thoughts and forever in my heart.


So I'm back to this cold reality.
I've already had a great time with Marika, Cathrine, Acke, Dennis and the very cool Boys.
Still got a few more awsome people I havn't seen yet, and some of the above I havn't spent all the time that I had hoped, with. But I'm not leaving this great reality yet for a while, so we'll be fine.

Sofia and me are leaving the country tomorrow though. Ha!
On our first cruise to finland, this year! It's gonna be so great! (:
See you guys Saturday!

Yours Truly
Jilly Billy Adamilly

Ay carramba...

As I was wondering wether to write in english or swedish, a smile came across my face and I just went with what felt the most natural.
With the line "Quick, act natural!" echoing in through my mind, I'm suddenly back in Reno, on the hotelroom floor, laughing my ass of with a great person... About my most natural pose. Ahh...
Obviously it's english today.

- Welcome back home, they say.
- Why, thank you, I reply.
For what an awsome welcome committee it was!

Drinks, shots, beers and whatever else random possible we downed...
We drank, we danced, we sang, we ate, we cheered, we played.
Met some really cool new people and I welcome these with open arms!
Eventually chanting all the way down to the regular place to be, as we all know it: CentralBaren.
While there, met up with some really great people and probably had some really great disscutions.
I say probably, because honestly... I'm not really sure. >.<
Somehow, someway, my shoes ended up being tied together and suddenly I felt the icy snow and stones scraping up my forehead as I fell to the ground.
I laughed, they laughed, we all had a great time. (:

I love the sound of My cellphone receiving a text msg or a phonecall.
I love hearing the voice of the people I've missed.
I love seeing the smiles of the ones that I care about.
I love it, I love it, I love it!

But I also already terribly miss the voices and smiles 
of the ones I've left behind.


Woke up fairly early this morning, cramped up on the couch along with some others. Had some great food and watched some movies. Over and out, leaving, to get picked up by a beauty for a friend.
We ended up buying some movies, chips, dipps, sodas and pastries and pigging out, cathing up and laughing.
And again I feel like the luckiest girl.
Not everybody gets to come back to what I get to come back to.

And although the coffee here is really untasteful and the air is biting cold...
I feel really warm.

Thanks everybody!
You guys kick ass!
xoxo
Jilly

Happy Valentinesday.
This day is pretty gay. Although nights like last night make you wish valentines was a holiday so you could spend all of today just breathing it in with the people you need.
It's my last whole day here in the very sunny California.
I've been up since 6 am. With only 1,5 hours of sleep I'm doing pretty good.
We had icecream for breakfast in the car as the sun was rising.
I need more time...

Tomorrow, Thursday, 4.45 pm, my flight back home departs.
I land in Stockholm Friday evening.

I'm so excited to see all of you guys again, I really am!
I know it may not sound like it, cuz of all my bitching and wining...
But it meaning, just would be the coolest if you guys could be here with me.
Also I'm kinda excited to brag about what an awsome time I've had! ;)



My Punk. :)

Bare with me on this one...


How 'bout being thrown into something completely surreal.
A place where the floors are the walls and where the ceiling is nonexistant.
A space with new scents, visions, ambitions... Like a parallel universe.
This new universe where You have the power to make Your own rules, prioritize in an unfamiliar way and most importantly; totally and freely, speak your mind.
Yeah, how 'bout that?


Like a drug entering your body for the first time, you feel frightened.
You want what you know. You want what makes you feel safe.
So now...
Say that you learn that what makes you feel safe and all the things that you know,
suddenly seize to exist.
Everything you used to be, all that you knew is now so completely irrelevant, to the point where they've vanished.

What is it that goes through your mind as you're desperately looking for comfort?
Is it fear of survival?
Or is it something else?

Is it maybe the dawn of a smile?
Maybe you start to realize, as the drug has you at it's highest high, that you've utterly underestimated life? And if so, how much can you really touch? Is it real?

You start looking around.
You start really looking around, examining every part of all you can see.
Learing not to be afraid. Taking a deep breath, absorbing as much as you possibly can and going on to learn about the next thing. Eventually finding it's all real and also how very real it really is.

You start to find comfort in ways you could never imagine.
The rules are for you to create.
At that moment, the world is yours.
You stumbled upon it and it didn't let you run away.
It's almost as if it handed you a cigarette and matches and sat you down for a while.
Sat you down for a one to one chat and you really wanted to listen.
And you really understood it.


Now...
Imagine this world, slowly but surely, leading you toward a set of stairs.
These stairs leading no direction, up, down, front or to the side... You don't know.
But that doesn't matter.
You've learned all you needed to learn and you've captured all what you needed to capture to make this next place, this next space, a true journey.

It's all locked up, safe, inside you and can not be taken away by anything or anyone.
I thank this world for all it has filled me with.


And as I walk the steps, holding the stair rail for balance, I smile for what life has in store for me next...

Yours Truly.

Catch a shooting star and put it in your pocket.
Never let it fade away...


I'm so damn lucky.
Life has shown me a few stars and taught me how to catch them.
Not only one, but even a couple.
I am very so lucky...

I put one in my pocket last night and I won't ever let it fade away...




Life isn't about the count of breaths you take,
It's about the moments that take your breath away.