i n s i d e l i n g o

Ever had someone say something really special to you?
It's those moments you say you'll never forget.
Ever noticed how time then flies by and you havn't given those words another thought since that era?
Isn't it funny how when we later in life find ourselves in similar positions, the words that person once told us couldn't be any clearer. And all of a sudden you're back in that moment and remember exactly how it was said, facial expressions and any other details like scents, colors etc...

I've been having those kinds "flashbacks" alot lately.
Yeah, they can still make me smile...


Friday was great! Oh how we played, drank, talked shit, sang...
Alot of drama though, for an ordinary friday night, but that's okay. We'll cope.
Yesterday was a good day too. Met up an old friend from the past. The past? Sat at some bar in Stockholm with a group of cool people after some serious PS3'ing! (Wii for president.)
So today the girls came over for some catching up. Played Kubb, watched a movie, smoked some waterpipe...
Oh, and had some GREAT vanilla ice cream and strawberries! Yummm...

Can't wait for Tuesday! Whoppah! (:
Uhm, that'll be all for tonight. Really. Very. Sleepy...

Rock and Cult presents Moshpit Open!
Cat and I were videotaping the festival for the DVD coming out soon! Meaning, whoring around the bands, trying to get them to do something fun for the camera. Trying to get the emo kids to crack a smile was actually really very difficult so we focused on the bands and the crew - them being our friends- the DVD's gonna rock!
Really great to see the boys of Allstarkid again and finally get to see you play! Me likey! ;)
Chilling with the crowd, standing in here and there, filming both on and back-stage, meeting and greeting the bands... And eventually, when everyone had gone and the doors were closed... Cat and I had our own performance on stage. Haha too bad it wasn't cought on tape. Felt really drunk from being just so very tired. Spent around 14 hours at the park counting only yesterday. But we really shouldn't bitch, we wern't there today helping to clean up...

I could go into details, but I just read Cathrine's blog and she did so for you swedish readers-
see her site. (Find link to the right.)
Good work everyone!
We pulled through and it was a success! Too bad Schubb didn't play though...
Creds to Allstarkid, YouAteMyDog, Far Above (not so much for their music as for their personalities), Avdenture Kid and the other bands that kept it going eventhough the power went out and other mishaps.
GREAT WORK EVERYONE!



Oh, I feel like listening to The Shins really badly right now... Let's do that. Kay, there. Done.
"New Slang" is just so soothing and gets me thinking of the movie Garden State.
Still one of my alltime favourite movies. Saw the Amelie movie tonight, that's going on my top 5 too.

I hear Ashley's down to visit sooner than expected! Maybe even next week?!
Gah, I can't wait to have you here, Belty!

As for the easy way to quit smoking... I've been taking time to read it, not yet through but it has me really interested. I'm all in for this experiment. Dying to find out if he can "cure" me, just as he supposedly has 95% of the ones having read the book. So far he's brilliant. He's really captures my intrest, I thought I'd be bored by now and smoking more than ever... But he's letting me smoke just as much as I always do while reading it, so I'm guessing he's got a brilliant plan. He calls it a "magic button", he hasn't pressed it yet, but he's prepairing me for it.
I love my morning coffee and cigarette though! Do I want to quit? Really? ... He has remedies for this kind of thinking, he keeps reminding me how I'm brain washed and I believe him. This smoking thing has to come to an end. Yeah. I really do want to quit. I really do. Lets do this Allen Carr, we can do it!


As for everything else... Oh well. I'm still smiling.
Haha whatever... Let's leave it at that.





... Lovely.

So here I sit. With my glass of white whine, glistening. And tonight it's looking unbelievably ravishing. My music is playing softly in the background as I'm full of thoughts.

So completely uplifted. It's this feeling that I cannot describe.
Not last night and not tonight...
I've tried for about 17 minutes now, only to delete it all for the sake of inadequacy.

AFI - Arenan 12/5 - 2007
Fuckin' magical...



Again, and like always nowadays ... I feel so damn busy.
I'm not sure what exactly it is that I'm doing with my time really, but I very rarely get the chance to just sit down for a moment and breathe. Like, really breathe...
I've realized I'm the only one to blame so my days of complete and utter extrovertism must come to end.
So some new routines will now enter my life and I plan on sticking to them religiously.
I like to think.
But lately I've felt as if I have no time for even just that. I havn't thought in a long time.
Hectic, not only physically but yeah, menthally too.

From early yesterday morning - afternoon and especially night, I thought alot.
Thank you so much Marika. I really appreciate all your support (and humor ;) !
Also worth mentioning tonight are Cat and Dennis.
<3

Yeah... I did.
I auditioned for Idol - 2007. And I went on to the second round! Ha!
So now, thursday is the big day.

-So bug gulps, huh?

Writing never takes the place of living.
But I need her arms, I need her smile again.

You put yourself in this position.
I'll wait this out.
In the end, the true ones will still be at my side.
You can have the rest. I don't want them anyway.
I just never thought you'd be one of them...

 



But through the tangled thread the needle finds a way...

A beautiful day in the beautiful sun with a beautiful person.
Saturday was great and I couldn't thank you enough.



Yesterday I cleaned out a space I hadn't looked through for about 7-8 years.
Always adding new things throughout the years but never throwing anything away.

I remember why I kept that golfball, who sent me those cards, left me those notes.
I remember why I kept that chocolate wrap, saved the gloves, all the tamaguchies.
There was just so much there...

I guess I had trouble going through it all, deciding on what to keep and what get rid of.
How does one put something in the trash that's ment so much in the past?
But I did. I finally did. Not all of it of course. Not even alot of it... But I did my best.
(:



Last night we tried to end the game of Kuri Kuri. We're were so close, we could feel it!
But naturally Cathrine had to leave for work (Read work in a highpitch-nazal tone of vioce), so we didn't defeat that boss. Funny how we can get on eachothers nerves, yell, be dramatically sarcastic and even almost evil to eachother for just the sake of beating this goddamngame! Haha...

Oh, Ashley's coming to visit soon!
Bringing the Bay Area to Stockholm to show them what it's all about!



Live for the nights you'll never remember with the friends you'll never forget.

Does one ever go numb?
I miss you terribly...




. . .

Jill Adam